Kim vs. Gravity #6: Aspirin, or I take one for the team
I know, it’s been a while since I’ve updated my progress — I have a reasonably good excuse though: when the doctor says to you, “the laser isn’t working right,” you don’t say “Oh, that’s okay — blast away!” No, you don’t.
So I had a good, long few weeks to heal and examine myself from every angle looking for changes. And to be honest, it was hard for me to judge. I see myself every day. With Botox and Restylane, the difference is dramatic and (almost) immediate. But with Captain Palomar, it’s a slow return to a finer complexion.
The big test came at Thanksgiving. My mother has been reading along, and I think she gets stuck on words like ‘swollen’ and ‘bruise’ and ‘faint’ — she had worked herself into a tiny bit of a froth, not knowing what to expect. Would I look like me? That’s a fair question and one that Dr. Sundaram and I have discussed more than once. I don’t want to look 25, and I don’t want to look like Angelina Jolie (that may be a little bit of a lie). That was the reason I decided against making my lips more poufy; I generally like the way I look. That’s one of the interesting things I’ve learned from this experience, as the science improves the procedures become more subtle. So when an actress rolls her eyes heavenward, her lower lip quivering just a tiny bit, and swears she’s never had surgery on her face, well, guess what? Actually going under the knife is SO last century.
So anyway, Mom at first didn’t notice any change, and then decided I looked pretty great. We all heaved a big sigh of relief.
My last visit was laser procedure number 3, and this time we turned the voltage up a little bit. (I know it’s not voltage. Play along.) And I got another lesson in what not to do, which I will share with you now. Mom, stop reading.
I’ve had a cold for about a month, and spent much of that time power-chugging Nyquil and eating handfuls of aspirin. Other than making you able to stumble through your work day, aspirin is a blood thinner. You see where I’m going with this? If you shine your laser on someone who is full of blood thinner, you will get a very dramatic face full of black and blue marks. I won’t lie to you, I did not look good. Fortunately, Dr. Sundaram gave me some lovely healing creams and about a quart of cover-up which made it possible for me to go to work.
The next day, to my surprise, all the black and blue marks were gone. Now I was just red — really red. I had those round sucker marks on my forehead and my neck — attack of the amorous squid! Once again, a big slather of cover-up (thanks, MAC) and dim lighting and I was good to go.
Then something funny happened. I started to peel a bit on Friday, and a little more on Saturday. In the shower I gave myself a good scrub — maybe a little more roughly than I normally would — and when I dried off, I could finally, actually, really see a difference. It wasn’t the light and it wasn’t the mirror. It was the laser doing what the doctor had promised back in September. My skin was both tighter and softer. My neck (oh, how I’ve battled with my neck) was even a bit firmer. And the process continues, so I get to see myself looking better as the weeks go by. I think I have one more laser treatment to go, and then in a few months I get to decide about touching up the Restylane which tragically does not last forever. (Confession — I’ve touched up the Botox. I am 100% on Team Botox.) So what have we learned? No aspirin a day keeps the bruises away!
Read Part One: Kim vs. Gravity
Read Part Two: Breakfast: The Most Important Part of Your Cosmetic Surgery Day!
Read Part Three: Kim the Amazing Duck-Faced Girl
Read Part Four: Intermission/A Radio Drama
Read Part Five: Dangerous Apples
Read Part Seven: Gin Blossoms Are Not a Pretty Flower!
Read Part Eight: Post-wedding wrap up