The cats are back!

by Kim Alexander · September 28, 2016

I’m sure you’ve been wondering where Leeloo and Onion have gotten themselves off to, it’s been a while since they’ve done a dramatic retelling. It’s been a busy summer for both of them!

Onion has gotten so big (How big is he? GLAD YOU ASKED) he has his own gravitation field. He sits around the litter box. He hired himself to Macy’s as a parade float. He…well, he is our special boy.

Leeloo had sort of a traumatic summer, the poor petite flower. She got a lion cut at the groomers. She went from this:

To, uh, whatever the hell this is:

You’d have thought she got a bad perm three days before the prom. “It’ll grow!” we kept telling her, although it was hard to say with all the hysterical laughter and the gagging. I mean, look at the little Ugg boots! She was, to put it mildly, pissed. The pic doesn’t even do justice to the bone-chilling, non-Euclidean grotesquerie that crawled out of a nightmare. I tried to get a good picture of her, but…there wasn’t one.

But! She’s back to a manageable order of fluffitude, and today she and her arch mortal enemy/best pal Onion had a slow motion slap fight I thought you might enjoy.