True Blood Ways
Everyone’s het up about True Blood being good this season – don’t spoil me, I have it all on my Tivo, ready for a full-on weekend marathon of rolling around in fangbangers, fairies and mostly Skarsgard. My heart’s wish is all Lafayette, all the time, hooka.
I’m even more invested because I spent last week in actual By-God Louisiana – and not Normal Louisiana (New Orleans) but the other kind- north of Baton Rouge (which I misspell as Baton Rogue Every. Single. Time.) My beloved friends Misters M&M invited me to their family camp. (‘Camp’ is Southern for ‘Adorable cottage on the lake with air conditioning’, not a tarp stretched between two trees.) I needed a break and with no internet and spotty cell service, I got one!
I also learned how to say ‘might could’, as in, “I might could drink another bourbon, if you’re fixing to go up to the kitchen” Handy!
I tried to get everyone excited about going to Shreveport to look for Fangtasia, then I remembered I don’t actually know where Shreveport is (or where I was) and the longer we spent driving around, the longer it would take for someone to head up to the kitchen. (See above.) Also, Fangtasia doesn’t actually exist. (Except apparently it does.)
Anyway, did you read Charlaine’s last Sookie book? The end, you guys! Were you satisfied? It really did come down to Who Will Win Sookie’s Hand, or worse, Will Sookie Screw Things Up With Eric, and I think that frustrated Ms Harris, who loves to write about things like vampire politics and fairy strippers. If she wanted to write a simple love story, it might not have taken place in the Grand Central Station of magical creatures.
I knew who Sookie would end up with and I’ll tell you how. (I won’t tell you who, though, since it hasn’t been out that long and you may be invested, I don’t know your life.) I knew Sookie would end up with this one particular character, because every time Ms Harris mentions him in every single book, she makes a big deal out of his hair. Describes it every time. She was in love and trying not to show her hand. Writers have tells, like poker players. Like, remember how in that 50 Shades mess awful Ana kept biting her lip on every damn page? That was a writer’s crutch masquerading as a personality. When a writer returns to something frequently enough for you to notice, ask yourself why. In this case, she’s showing her hand – and it’s gently stroking his hair.
I loved the series although I didn’t love every single book, and I think Ms Harris was kind of in a hurry to sweep Sookie and the residents of Bon Temps out the door. Still, I’m definitely looking forward to whatever she decides she might could do next!
I thought you might enjoy listening to the show my partner Maggie and I recorded with Charlaine about two years ago.