Kim vs Gravity Part 4

Intermission/A Radio Drama

So the last time I went to see Dr. Sundaram, it was for Restylane. (That’s wrinkle-spackle to the lay person.) Lovely thing about it, you can see it work almost instantly. Sure, I was a little swollen and had a few bruises, but by the end of the week, I could see my new, smoother lipline. There are no maybes, it works like a champ. (Of course, having an artist like Dr. Sundaram do my work didn’t hurt — I wouldn’t really want to be someone’s very first patient!)

I went back for my next appointment last week for something called Palomar Lux 1540 (which sounds like a Roman emperor or the swashbuckling captain of the Starship Dermabrasia).

Okay, stand back while I bring on the Science. The idea here is to blast tiny little micro-cookie cutters of skin a little bit below the surface in a grid pattern all over your face (and neck, in my case). The remaining unharmed skin all pulls together and you’re left with a tighter, smoother complexion. (On the off chance that my mad medical skilz are somewhat lacking, I know the doctor will step in and tell us what actually happened to my face.) It’s supposed to be much less traumatic than older lasers, which I assume are the ones built last year. You can go right back to work and you won’t look like a hamburger that lost a fight with a heat lamp since your entire dermis wasn’t liquefied.

The procedure itself lasted about half an hour, and while it wasn’t a gentle kiss from George Clooney, what is? It stung a little, but it was nothing compared to the tiny bees of beauty. The ouchiest parts were around my nose, particularly the bridge which makes sense since bonier parts are going to hurt more what with lasers bouncing off of them and all. Hey, it’s sort of like a giant invisible face tattoo! Badass!

When I left the office, I had an interesting pattern of light pink polka-dots from the neck up. I looked like a particularly kicky Marrimekko shower curtain. But with ice and a few hours, that went away and I just looked a bit sunburned. That evening, my skin was a little achy, again, no worse than a sunburn (of which I have had oh so many, that’s one of the main reasons I am where I am today. Kids, wear your sunscreen!).

Now a week has gone by, and I am still a little pinker than usual, and there’s been a bit of peeling around my nose and mouth. I never got swollen and there were no blisters. In fact, it was all very undramatic! I will be going back for round two on Halloween.

Since I didn’t get super insta-fast results (and I wasn’t promised any, to be clear) I’ve had some time to think.

Why am I doing this? I can actually answer that question. It’s a two part answer.

First, I work at XM Satellite Radio, a fairly new and very exciting company jam packed full of 20 somethings and harsh lighting.

I’ve been in the radio business since 1980, my first job was at WSHE in Miami when I was 18 (do the math) and I’ve lasted long enough to have joined the ranks of those who literally have no other skills, and are happy to dispense advice about the old days. (I work with lots of people who have never used a record player. They’ll never know the thrill of taking a break for — lets call it a cup of coffee — and hearing from the far end of the building that your record has started to skip. Now that’s entertainment!) And I really enjoy the fact that people will occasionally ask me for advice.

But then I start to get the idea that when they look at me they see a woman in a grey suit with a pencil skirt and a smart hat, standing in front of one of those big stand up microphones — “The Dumont Broadcasting Networks Suspense Radio Theater is now on the air.” I play the sassy gal reporter. I may actually be Rosalind Russell. Yes, I do watch a lot of Turner Classic Movies, thanks for asking!

Why I think that people who have never used a record player know who Rosalind Russell is will have to remain a mystery. And why I’ve conflated being in your 40s with being from the 40s — we may never know.

There’s another reason for my undergoing this process, of course. Check back soon and I’ll tell you about it.

Read Part One: Kim vs. Gravity
Read Part Two: Breakfast: The Most Important Part of Your Cosmetic Surgery Day!
Read Part Three: Kim the Amazing Duck-Faced Girl
Read Part Five: Dangerous Apples
Read Part Six: Aspirin, or I take one for the team
Read Part Seven: Gin Blossoms Are Not a Pretty Flower!
Read Part Eight: Post-wedding wrap up