Breakfast: The Most Important Part of Your Cosmetic Surgery Day!
After I wrote the first chapter on my battle with gravity, I honestly didn’t know if there would be a second. I was really torn — not only over whether having ‘some work done’ marked me as vain and shallow, but over the idea of doing something to my body that wasn’t purely in the service of medical health. Brain surgery good, botox bad. I was afraid of something going wrong. I was afraid of everything going right, and not looking like myself anymore. Then I thought about what might happen if I liked the results. I could look in the mirror without pulling my cheeks back for once.
In the end, and after nearly chickening out a few times, I figured I would go see Dr. Sundaram. Just go see her. I could flee if I had to; they weren’t going to strap me to the table. Just go see what happens.
As far as something going wrong, that’s where research is your friend. Find a doctor who is widely respected, not one who just set up shop in the temporary trailers behind the mall. This isn’t something you want to farm out to the lowest bidder!
I was also lucky in that I got to see some of the doctors work firsthand, she’s worked with my friends the Broadminded Broads here at XM, and they are three scorching hot women. Not a cat-faced or permanently surprised lady in that group.
So I went.
We had decided that I would get the most from Restylane and a little botox. The nurse asked me if I wanted some Restylane shot into my lips to make them poufier. I spent four seconds thinking of poor, poor Meg Ryan, and poor Courtney Love, and every other trout-pout of a certain age, and politely declined. Instead, I was going to get the vertical lines over my lips inflated — the wrinkles (there, I said it!) that you get from smoking — only I never smoked so I’ve been feeling a little ripped off on that score anyway, and de-frown the corners of my mouth. Once that was done, a little botox for my crow’s feet. Sounds simple. Ha!
Waiting for the doctor, I began to notice how nervous I was. I mean, hands shaking, cold chill nervous. Dr. Sundaram calmed me down and broke out the Restylane. She did warn me it was going to hurt despite the milk-moustache of numbing cream. My friends, let me tell you that she wasn’t kidding. I saw stars. Actually, I saw bees. Yeah, bees. Tiny, pretty, crystal bees. Bees of beauty! Swarms of lovely bees!
After the first side of my mouth was done — it took only a couple of minutes — I noticed the nervousness had increased to actual cold sweat…I couldn’t feel my hands…the room seems kind of far away…why is it so dark in here?
Yep, I fainted right on the table. Fortunately I was already lying down.
The next thing I saw was the doctor looking down at me.
“Did you eat breakfast?”
“All my fainting patients skip breakfast. I’ll get you some juice.” Apparently, nerves + dehydration + a little pain = lots of people pass out. So don’t be like me — eat breakfast!
I guess it would have been more embarrassing if…um, I’ll have to keep thinking about that. Anyway, one lemonade and some garlic bread later, I was ready for round two. I wasn’t making things up, it still hurt. Bees!
The botox — to my surprise — took a grand total of 30 seconds and I didn’t feel a thing. Dr. Sundaram told me it takes about a week to kick in. (Day 3 — not yet.)
So, was my visit with the bees worth it? Do I look like me only smoother? I’m still finding that out myself. I’ll let you know.
Read Part One: Kim vs. Gravity
Read Part Three: Kim the Amazing Duck-Faced Girl
Read Part Four: Intermission/A Radio Drama
Read Part Five: Dangerous Apples
Read Part Six: Aspirin, or I take one for the team
Read Part Seven: Gin Blossoms Are Not a Pretty Flower!
Read Part Eight: Post-wedding wrap up