They call it Noisy Monday

I was all set to revise the opening chapter of my book (for only the fourth time, but THIS TIME I MEAN IT) and got settled in.

Cats on either side, check. Butt firmly ensconced in the ass-dent in the couch? Check. Third cup of coffee? CHECK BABY!

Okay! Let’s write!

“The demon Princess turned to her human lover and said “RRRRHHRHRHHRHRHRHHRHHRHRHRHHRR.”

Construction. They are repaving the alley right behind my window. I feel a certain kinship with the fine folks who schedule the work and maintain this alley because they’ve repaved it at least as many times as I’ve attempted rewrites. You can’t just jackhammer the hell out of it, throw asphalt down with giant stinky tar trucks, smooth it with other giant stinky trucks, and call it a day! No, this process needs to be repeated at least 3 times to get it just right.

Actual view from my window

And if that means they have to position and reposition a construction crane for three hours with the diesel engines blasting and the crew shrieking instructions at each other (‘LOWER!” “NO, THE OTHER LOWER!”) well, they don’t come up here and tell me my plot is too thin and my characters act like idiots. I’m sure they have their reasons!

DC Dept of Public Works (not really, they're furloughed)

The only thing more exciting than the daily parade of big trucks (seriously, if I was a five year old boy, I’d be in heaven) is the nightly parade of furloughed 20 somethings. Yes, I live in DC. Yes, I live very close to a disease vector/famous neighborhood. Now, I love it here. I’m close enough to the Zoo that you can hear lions and monkeys from my living room. (WHO IS FEEDING THEM????) Its a diverse and very pretty area and I’m proud to call DC home (the museums are free! the metro works sometimes!) But like anyone who lives near the bars knows, there’s that golden hour when the calls of the zoo animals are replaced by the yips, grunts and howls of the out of town drunks on their way home. To get home, they first have to find their cars. A lot of these kids seem to think YELLING will reveal where they parked, lo those many hours ago, like the cars will respond to their master’s voice.

I'm right here, Master! Call my name!

Here’s what we’ve learned:

11pm to 12:30 – We’ve had a lovely evening, time to head home.

Hey, they might have been here, I don't go out at night.

12:30- 1:30am – Everything will be all right if I can just remembered where I parked.

Dude, this street looks really familiar.


Let's make some good decisions!

2:30am – dawn – Packs of wild animals roaming the streets. Lock your doors.

Is the Diner still open?

Its like the Ascent of Man in reverse, wearing khakis.

Ah, I think the crew out back is either on lunch break or waiting for a larger, stinkier piece of machinery. Back to the Demon Princess! I think her first act as Queen will be a noise ordinance!

Things are gonna change around here, bitches.

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