And the glasses are stylish, too!

So, what do you think of 3-D movies? Are they The Devil? Distracting? Best thing ever?

I didn’t have anything to add to that conversation because I have what medical experts call a Wonky Eye. My whole life, if I read for more than say, half an hour, I looked  like this:

Yeah, feels as comfortable as it looks.

Now, considering my whole job for the last couple of years has been to interview authors, I had to carefully manage my TSR (Time Spent Reading, duh) so I wouldn’t drive into a tree on the way home.  And 3-D movies?  They would degenerate into whining and crying about how it was too dark and I couldn’t see anything, and what’s the big deal anyway?

I should also say I had some strong feelings about Avatar, which I ALONE sat through in 2-D:

That's patriarchal imperialism you're clapping for!

Then a miracle took place! And by miracle, I mean intervention of modern science! I finally went to see a specialist, who said, ‘Oh, Honey. That ain’t right.’ (I might be paraphrasing.)

I had surgery on both eyes and it was VERY GROSS and I felt like this for about a week:

Actually it was kind of worse

But then, THEN!

I realized I could read for like, one thousand hours at a time and I could still see straight!

There's only ONE Colbert in this gif!

The only slight disappointment is that I’m actually not married to handsome twins. But now I know exactly how many cars are coming at me! And guess what! There’s only one gas station at the end of my street!

And then we went to see Gravity. Couple of takeaways – based on the number of times I touch my face every day (and I have a separate sub-category for the times I root around in my eyes) I could not be an astronaut. Nu huh. Also, I’m convinced that Sandra Bullock made a deal with the Devil trading a couple of years with that tattoo moron in exchange for eternal yoooouuuuuttthhh. (Also, total Bullock/Clooney shipper. But that’s fan fic for another day!)

Meanwhile, back at the cinema,  the trailer came on for The Hobbit: An Unexpectedly Long-Ass Movie in 3-D came on.

HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON?

I believe my exact words were, ‘HOLY SHIT’, and the family with little kids sitting in front of us were super pumped to share the excitement I am sure. After peeling me off his lap for the third time, my husband (only have one!) remarked, ‘So, I guess the surgery worked.’  And I was all ‘THERE ARE PENS FLOATING CAN YOU NOT SEE THEM???’

So I have to take a moment to thank my doctor, Vike Vicente . Its worth noting he mainly does eye-fixin’ on children, so all the equipment was slathered with kitties and sparkle stickers. I felt right at home.

I’m still right about Avatar, though.

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1 Response

  1. Kirk Griffin says:

    3-d has become a movie makeers overused toy

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